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Credit: DIA: Meer.com |
[Editor's Choice]
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Ars Poetica from My Grandparents’ Dinner Table
Different men, or sometimes even the polite
suggestion of a woman prop, pop
up on the TV screen to tell me I should not
exist. This is the white
noise, static—
electricity powering the ivory shroud
of my grandparents’ resentment.
Grandma douses herself each morning
with a perfume of passive aggression.
The sharp scent sours her face
at the dinner table as she recounts
the minor offenses I’ve committed
after inspecting my bedroom—dissecting
the way I throw my clothes on the floor
or leave home with an unmade bed. Proof
of an unwelcome existence,
but without a room in her house she doesn’t know
where I might exist, and this is a moral
dilemma. The way Grandpa rolls his eyes
is more like opening smooth surfaces to a wider
view before blinking hard with a violent
shake of his face, jowling me out of existence.
Grimace a shame-weapon tugging needle sharp
stitches through the thick gristle of my paling
pink lips. He sneers at my sister
when she asks for ketchup on her steak.
Says she might as well lick it off the floor,
tongue dusted rare. I pry apart
the threads leaving jagged ruby rips
through loose lips. They glare at me, startled
static as blood inks into wood grains.
My knuckles wrap around a serrated knife
biting into hushed skin and I carve
couplets into the table, narrate
my existence—myself as witness until the tip
breaks so I scratch myself palpable. Claw
my story into stanzas, nails chipping.
A fervent display frenzied
as I climb onto the table, hunched
over and scribbling until it is covered.
Undeniable.
I meet their eyes when I look up,
dagger-toothed grin
dripping
thick crimson.
Tyler Hurula (she/they) is the pinkest poet and explorer based in Denver, Colorado. She strives to be the most queer and polyamorous person they can be and much of her poetry reflects these themes. Author of chapbook Love Me Louder (Querencia Press). Their poems can be found in publications including Anti-Heroin Chic, South Broadway Press, Boats Against the Current, Gnashing Teeth Publishing, and more. They have been nominated for Best of the Net and Pushcart Prizes. She is an editor and events coordinator with Beyond the Veil Press. You can find her on Instagram @theprettypinkpoet.